Rad, fatty, body-positive, badass, gender-non-specific bitches in the Boston area who are new to running/interested in starting to run: do you exist? Would you like to go with me? We could start a club? ANYONE?

This is so much of more interesting ways to talk about what I feel when I'm in my head and how I wish I could write. I can't shake this piece from my muscles. I've been reading it over all day, wrapping myself tighter in it. I adore it.


TRUCKER
by Cooper Lee Bombardier

SHE WALKED BY ME EIGHT FEET TALL, AND IT WAS THEN THAT I THOUGHT: IF I COULD REACH HER HIGHEST BRANCHES, I COULD CLIMB HER. SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY A SUPERHERO. I COULD TELL BY HER UTILITY GARTER BELT AND SHE SMILED AT ME LIKE MY AWE AMUSED HER. SHE PUSHED A THICK CERAMIC MUG OF GUT-ROT COFFEE ACROSS THE COUNTER AT ME, AND HER SUPER-POWER STARE KEPT ME FROM BEING ABLE TO HEFT IT'S WEIGHT TO MY LIPS TO SIP.

HER MOUTH CURLED IN A RELUCTANT SMILE ON ONE SIDE AND SHE SAID, "YOU GONNA HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT, MISTER?" I AUTOMATICALLY INHALED AND PULLED MY SPINE OUT OF A SLOUCH SO MY TITS WOULD BE OBVIOUS AND SAID, "I'M ALL THE MISTER YOU NEED!"

SHE SIZED ME UP AND PICKED ONE OF MY CALLOUSED HANDS UP FROM THE WORN-DOWN WOODEN COUNTER IN HER GIGANTIC SUPERHERO HANDS LIKE IT WAS A MAGAZINE IN A DENTISTS OFFICE OR LIKE IT BELONGED TO HER. I WONDERED WHAT THE HELL AN EIGHT-FOOT TALL SUPERHERO LIKE HER WAS DOING WORKING AT A CRAPPY UNOCAL 76 TRUCK STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF BUTTFUCK, LOUISIANA, ANYWAY. I WAS ABOUT TO ASK HER BUT HER GREEN EYES HELD MY BLUES LOCKED, AND IT WAS THEN I REALIZED THAT IF I PUT MY FEET ON TOP OF HERS AND HELD ON SHE COULD TEACH ME HOW TO DANCE.

SHE SAID, "DARLIN', YOU'RE THE FINEST THING TO EVER GRACE THE COUNTER OF THIS GREASY DIVE. I'M OFF AT THREE O'CLOCK AND YOU'RE COMIN' WITH ME." I WASN'T SURE WHAT MADE ME FINE OR DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER GUYS HUNCHED OVER GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES AND GRITS EXCEPT MY AFOREMENTIONED TITS-OR MAYBE IT WAS THAT SHE FELT THE GENTLENESS IN MY ROUGH HANDS. "I DON'T KNOW YOU, BUT I THINK I LOVE YOU!" I SAID BY ACCIDENT, AND MY FACE WAS SURPRISED BY WHAT MY MOUTH HAD JUST DONE. I TRIED TO RECOVER BY SAYING I HAD TO HIT THE ROAD, I HAD PLACES TO GO.

SHE SAID, "EASY, TRUCKER, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?" POURING ANOTHER SLUG OF GUT-ROT INTO MY CUP. "WELL," I SAID, "TRUTH IS I GUESS I'VE GONE A LOT OF MILES ALONE TO TRY AND FIX SOMETHING, AND PROLLY I'M AFRAID WHAT A SUPERHERO LIKE YOU MIGHT DO TO MY HEART SHOULD I GIVE IT TO YOU."

SHE HELD MY SHAGGY HEAD BETWEEN HER HUGE HANDS AND PULLED MY FACE INTO THE POLYESTER-ENCASED HEAVEN OF HER BREASTS AND SAID, "BABY, SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO TAKE LOVE WHERE YOU FIND IT. DON'T BE AFRAID."

Still in love with Youth On Fire, still adoring my apartment and my favourite Alex-roommate, still having an affair with the summer on the Charles River, still reading everything I can get my hands on, still searching for a job, still have a hard time getting out of my infinitely comfortable bed.

I have absolutely no idea how to talk about the kind of sad I am feeling because it's the sort that comes from being infinitely happy for a very brief period of time. And then, of course, there's the immediate aftermath when things go back to normal. Everything in my world is actually really lovely, and I have very little to complain about -- but my girlfriend was here for the weekend and now she's not, and it'll be another month until I see her. And then it'll be a month and a half after that time, and that somehow means a lot more sadness than it ever has before. We work so comfortably together that it's easy to forget that we don't always get to move around each other's worlds like we want to. I want to keep her around for absolutely as long as she'll let me. I am getting the feeling that if the distance doesn't kill us, that might be a good long while.

In other news, have a meme: leave a comment if you want and I'll give you a letter. Then upload 10 or so of your favourite songs starting with that particular piece of the alphabet!

( Mary gave me G. Turns out there are a lot of those. )

Post a comment, and I will reply with one or two reasons why I think you're great. In return, you have to post this same meme on your blog and comment for other people.

Saying nice things to people! I think we could all do with a little of that.

if anyone is moving to the boston area or knows someone who is, we have a room available in cambridge starting in may! let me know if you want any details about the place or want to see pictures, or if you know anyone who does. wooo!